Category: Rants

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on having a strong locus of control

let me start by linking you to
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control. you’re welcome to peruse that before you read my reflections on it.

i was introduced to this concept during orientation of college. as you can imagine, it’s had quite an effect on me since then. whenever someone’s shit is going sideways, i annoyingly ask them if they feel like they could have avoided some situation or prevent future recurrences. do you have a strong locus of control? i realized that there’s another way to phrase my advice: don’t be a victim.

it seems that in recent years, my relationships with people are starting to strain because i cannot tolerate the victim mentality. i’m not saying it’s easy to pull yourself out of the fucking gutter. i’m literally still going to therapy to undo the childhood trauma imposed by my parents. somewhere along the way, i realized that i was painting this victim narrative where my parents oppressed me so much and now i’m so broken – woe is me – and so forth. that realization shattered my self-imposed emotional walls. i decided i am more than my pain and past. my parents were victims of the Vietnam War and their scars were about to be permanently impressed on me. i choose actively to stop the cycle. i will create a better environment around me for those i call my friends and family. i will fight for a bright future for my children, and create a safe and loving family culture.

back to my friends going through tough times. at the risk of this blog post turning into an advice column, allow me to use real life examples (names changed for privacy):

  • John got into an accident recently. Someone on the highway tried to change lanes and swiped his side. I empathized for a minute and then asked him: “do you think you could have avoided this situation? you’ve gotten into 5 accidents in the past 2 years. understandably, none of them were your fault – but your chance of accidents is higher than usual.” John got very upset at me and we got into an argument. He decided to start distancing himself from me – and we stopped speaking months ago. John, what is more likely: you are a sub-par driver that is susceptible to accidents or you are constantly getting terrorized by shitty drivers on the road?
  • Michael fell in love with a friend. When she rejected his romantic interest and started dating another friend in the group, Michael broke. He decided to never see or speak to these 2 good friends ever again because he felt betrayed. He created a wedge in the group because friends can’t simply hang out together in one big bunch. He created friction because you’re not allowed to speak to him about any events that involve the newly-formed couple. Michael, how long will you hold onto your hurt and victimhood? In the game of life – and especially the game of love, you will inevitably lose many rounds. Is the relationship actively ruining your life in some way? What is more likely: all these potential lovers don’t see how great you are, or you are simply not good enough?

to close out, i hope that you, my dear reader, embraces that you have free will – or the illusion of free will (if you want to get real philosophical) – and that is good enough. forge your path through life intentionally. your decisions and thinking should yield happiness and meaning for you. no one else will do it for you. if you choose passivity, do not complain when you are left behind.

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North Carolina Driver’s License Cheat Sheet

i gathered all this information from a bunch of sources. hope this question dump helps potential test takers on the ridiculously stupid and irrelevant exam that is the NC driver’s license exam.

  • In densely packed snow you should use chains or snow tires.
  • If you must drive during heavy snow / fog / snowstorm, use your low-beam headlights (NOT high-beam or parking lights).
  • Alcohol-related highway deaths account for 38% of all traffic fatalities.
  • If you accumulate 7 or more points on your traffic record you may attend a Driver Improvement Clinic to deduct three points from your driving record.
  • The traffic conviction that adds the highest number of points (5) to your driving record is passing a stopped school bus that is loading or unloading children.
  • “Secondary roads” are roads where hills are more likley to be more steep and curves are likely to be more sharp than on primary roads.
  • Unless otherwise posted, the speed limit in cities and towns is 35 miles per hour.
  • To have a revoked driver license restored, you must visit a driver license office, pay a restoration fee, and reapply for a license.
  • When three vehicles reach a 4-way stop at the same, the right of way belongs to the car on the right.
  • If you have a leaky exhaust pipe, it can cause harmful fumes to enter the vehicle.
  • If a vehicle sways freely, leans heavily to one side during a turn or seems to bounce continuously, there may be a problem with the suspension system.
  • If you experience a breakdown, you should call a law enforcement officer (NOT pull to the side of the road).
  • To maintain a safe driving distance between your car and the car in front of you, you should use the two-second rule.
  • If you take any medication before you drive, you should find out what effect the medicine has.
  • If you are planning a long road trip, you should stop and rest every 100 miles.
  • Before passing another vehicle, you should look ahead to ensure that there is enough room for you to pass.
  • When driving down a very steep hill, you should shift into a lower gear to control your speed.
  • If you run off the side of the road, you should gradually take your foot off the gas pedal.
  • When travelling on rural highways, farm equipment usually travels at its maximum speed of 15-20 mph.
  • If you are driving into a circle you should yield to cars already in the circle.
  • If you are in a crash, you should move your car off of the road.
  • School buses are required to stop at all railroad crossings.
  • In city traffic, you should be alert for drivers who make quick stops.
  • Truckers have serious blind spots into which cars can disappear from view.
  • Unless there is a sign indicating no turn on red, you can turn right on red after stopping and making sure that the turn can be made safely.
  • For any underage person who aids or abets another attempting to purchase any alcoholic beverage, the law requires a one-year driver license revocation.
  • Your license will be revoked immediately for 1 year if your blood alcohol concentration is at least 0.08 percent.
  • When aproaching a road that is blocked from view you should stop and proceed with caution.
  • Defensive drivers check their rear view mirror and side mirrors roughly every 10 seconds.
  • Bikers sustain more injuries in a collision with a car (forgot the rest of the question).
  • If going 45 miles per hour, how far ahead should you signal before turning? 200 ft.
  • If you plan to turn and are not in the proper lane to do so, you should continue to the next intersection, then turn.
  • The most common type of accident on a highway is a rear-end collision
  • When driving behind someone you should not use your high beams
  • To dry wet brakes, gently apply the brakes
  • “Don’t hang out in the No zone” refers to not be in truckers’ blind spots
  • When approaching a railroad crossing slow down and prepare to stop
  • If you pull up to a red arrow, the turning lane is the only lane that should stop
  • if you are a pedestrian walking along side the road at night, you should carry or wear something white
  • Use high beams when driving on a highway and no car is approaching
  • Slippery roads are most likely to occur when it has just begun to drizzle or rain
  • When traveling behind a farm vehicle on a two-lane road wait until the farm vehicle has the chance to pull over to the side, then pass with caution
  • Large trucks (tractor trailers) have large blind spots to the side and rear
  • When preparing to make a right-hand turn turn on your turn signal and approach the right-hand side of the road
  • A “shoulder check” is a quick glance over your shoulder on the side in which you intend to turn or change lanes
  • When you get tired on a long trip, you should stop and rest
  • When taking a long trip, you should plan to stop and rest every 100 miles
  • If you are following a car at night, how do you know if the road is bumpy? You watch the tail-lights.
  • It is dangerous to drive slowly after the crest of a hill.
  • What causes the biggest hazard on the road… Women drivers, slow drivers, elderly drivers?
  • Littering is … punishable by a fine not less than $250 and not more than $1000.
  • All registered motor vehicles in NC must be inspected every 12 months.
  • Most accidents occur at… intersections.
  • Why should you pay close attention on country roads?
    • Scenery can be beautiful
    • Cows have the right of way
    • Slow moving farm machinery may use the roads
  • If your car broke down on the highway, you should…
      • lift up your hood
    • stay in front of your vehicle
    • stay behind your vehicle
  • When a school bus stops for passengers, all traffic from both directions must stop at:
    • Two-lane road with center turning lane
    • Divided highway of four lanes or more with a median separation
    • Road of four lanes or more with a center turning lane
  • When do you adjust your rear and side view mirrors? Every time you’re about to drive somewhere.

After reading this list, I highly recommend taking this practice exam. You can hit your browser’s back button and redo each question until you get it right.

source: http://stevefrey.com/2010/07/30/north-carolina-dmv-drivers-license-test-study-guide/

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Frustrating Day

so i’m getting farther in my project. i developed some code and now it’s integration and customization into the customer’s website. the only problem is that the existing site code is so poorly coded and maintained. there are barely any comments, long variable names, seemingly random hardcodes and logic blocks, etc. it is a giant mess… needless to say, this project turned from fun learning into determined frustration. the web site needs a redesign ASAP.

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Poor Sleep

I haven’t been sleeping too well recently ever since I moved back to my “old room.” I sleep on top bunk, in a small mattress fenced in by metal to stop myself from falling off. Every morning, my sister wakes up for school and makes a huge racket. She turns on the light – makes a shitload of noise. When my mom wakes up, she creates her own chaos. Sometimes she’ll yell at my sister – sometimes she’ll start fussing over everything. My mom is going insane. I know people say that about their parents all the time – but my mom is a workaholic. She is constantly stressed and lets the stress affect her life way too much.